I’m so psyched you’re here, wtf. I never get any visitors. I’m Lu-SEE-ya, and it’s an absolute honour to have you stop by. By the time you get to the end of this page, you’re going to think I’m so cool and you’re gonna be so right. 

My first job was as a newspaper delivery girl from the age of 8 to 12. My favourite job was being a floral designer for Hermès, Tiffany & Co., Prada, Van Cleef and Arpels, and IWC Schaffhausen. Somewhere in between, I helped Nordstrom’s #1 stylist hit her $8 million annual sales goal, reported on congressional hearings in D.C. for the Canadian embassy (and had the Secret Service help me escape a slumlord), and onboarded fintech companies for British students to intern at in Shanghai. All of this before I was 21. 

I had a three-year stint in advertising during which I worked on household names like McDonald’s, Ferrero, Nivea, Beiersdorf. As well as indie cannabis brands (under a non-indie cannabis conglomerate), and TIFF. 

After Big Ad, I was brought on as a partner in a performance marketing agency and ran the creative department. Correlation does not equal causation, but after I joined, it went on to make 1 million MRR. I learned what ROAS, CPA, ICP, and different places in the funnel meant. And then I left. Because I couldn’t keep pretending to care.

All of this I did during the slivers of time when I wasn’t

-Getting my back taken in jiu jitsu
-Hitting my protein targets for my hip thrusts to show up in my jeans 
-Telling myself it’s too cold to run 
-Telling myself it’s too hot to run
-Starting and abandoning like four books by Nietzsche at this point
-Being generally insufferable about food 
-Being generally insufferable in general 
-Telling myself that I’m going to “learn music theory and start making music soon” 
-Being too pussy to go down blacks, even though I’ve been snowboarding for over a decade 
-Riding horses unsafely
-Going surfing at Tofino like once every 3 years and claiming that, “I love surfing!!”  
-Taking photos of people I find attractive
-Generating sankharas when I’m supposed to be observing my breath and sensations
-Doing yoga and pole pretty well, actually 
-Crafting scenarios in my head about the circumstances under which I’m going to see my one-sided long-distance delusionships 
-Humble bragging and giving backhanded compliments

Now that I’m done with the corporate life, I’m beginning a new chapter as a muse. Because I’m just not going to call myself a content creator. Stay tuned.

Based in Toronto-ish. 

Talk to me. 
+1 6046009223   luciazhang981@gmail.com